Emotion Regulation refers to the process of effectively responding to emotional experiences in a given context. I note the importance of context because there may be times when expressing emotions at a Level 5 intensity is appropriate. The intention is not to remain at Level 1 constantly. Rather, consider a goal of developing a greater awareness of what you are experiencing, choosing how you respond to your emotional experience given the situation, and expanding your capacity to be with challenging emotional experiences without engaging in unhealthy behaviors. Examples of unhealthy behaviors include impulsively lashing out at others, which can damage relationships; overeating or binge eating; avoidance; procrastinating; isolating; toxic positivity.
To be able to regulate effectively, you first need to identify where you’re at in terms of your emotional reactivity. To do this, deconstruct your emotional experience for each of 5 levels. You can do this in advance so you’ll have a plan you can use next time you’re activated. “Emotions” are different from “feelings”. Emotions are an entire system. For the purposes of this activity, deconstruct your emotional experience into the components of which it is comprised: thoughts (or memories or mental images); feelings (like sad, angry, happy); physical sensations; and urges to do or not do something (avoidance is an urge to NOT DO).
Next, use the Whole Health Card Deck to identify a few practices you can engage in at each level. At a Level 1, which is when you are relatively chill and calm, you might be motivated to engage in practices from the deck that are more challenging for you but that can support emotion regulation in the longer term like the cards Reframing Obstacles, Spirituality, or Self Soothing Kit. For Levels 3 and 4, consider practices that can keep your emotions from escalating. For Level 5, identify practices that can work immediately like Stress Relief, using the Self Soothing Kit you previously created when you were less emotionally activated, or Dive Reflex. Keep a few cards with you so they are easily accessibly next time you are caught up in emotional overwhelm!
Whole Health Card Deck is available on Etsy and Amazon
This is for people who want to lose weight but struggle to stick with diet changes and end up overeating, emotionally eating, binge eating…or whatever other term fits for the experience of feeling out of control around food while also trying to lose weight.
This image is a pretty typical pattern; do you recognize your own process reflected here?
You start out wanting to lose weight.
You find a ‘diet’ or way of eating that requires you to change some aspect of your current eating patterns. I didn’t put an arrow here but want to note this as a possible intervention point. There is nothing wrong with changing your eating patterns to be more healthful. For some people, this requires eliminating or cutting back on ultra processed foods, added sugar, and refined carbs. It means imposing some structure on when you eat. Please make sure whatever eating plan you choose is sound and based on solid science and evidence. There are many eating programs based on pseudo-science! This is a possible intervention point to ensure you are following principles of sound nutrition. Generally this will require cutting back on carbs, especially processed ones.
Feeling deprived and hungry on your new eating program is an intervention point. Feeling deprived in particular is largely based on your personal beliefs about food and eating. Do you believe you should be able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want it? Do you believe it is unfair to have to put in work and effort to managing your eating? Are you truly hungry (in which case, evaluate whether your chosen diet is nutritionally sound) bored, or experiencing strong emotions? Is eating a way you cope with stress? Do you have emotional associations to the foods you eat? Does eating help you avoid something you don’t want to do, face, or experience? Remember, to lose weight may require you to eat differently than you currently do and possibly develop different ways to respond to your eating cues. Working with your mindset can help you effectively respond to feelings of perceived deprivation, find satiation through nourishing food and eating patterns, and develop healthy self care practices that nourish you— body, mind, & soul.
BINGE EATING AND OVEREATING are behavioral CHOICES that you MAKE in response to feeling deprived and hungry. You may feel deprived at times. You may feel hungry at times. The goal is to CHANGE HOW YOU RESPOND to these experiences.
Sometimes overeating or emotionally eating makes you feel better in the short term, but that’s often followed by negative feelings and/or physical sensations such as bloating. You may also have distressing thoughts about how you ate, your weight, etc. These experiences are understandably uncomfortable!
So, you AVOID. Sometimes this looks like containing to overeat. Maybe you vow to start over on a very strict diet. Whatever this looks like for you, consider it as a way to avoid dealing with the uncomfortable fact and reality that you binged or overate or broke your diet or whatever. Rigid or strict attempts at dieting can often function to avoid the distress of the binge and/or help you regain a sense of control.
…but eventually the cycle continues.
What can you do to break the cycle? Fortunately, there are MANY things! Here are 10:
Change the focus from trying to lose weight to improving your health. This shift can impact the foods you choose to eat and how much of them you eat. Do you think it is healthy to overload your body with food it doesn’t need or to eat refined junk food?
Choose sound eating plans that focus on real whole food. Ideally get your nutrition information from reputable sources. Try an eating program for a period of time to see if it’s a good fit for you, like a week or 2, or a month. Treat it like an experiment.
Work to change how you relate to your mind and thoughts around food, eating, and what it means to be deprived.
Explore your emotional associations to food and eating & recognize when you have fallen under their spell.
Practice being with cravings and urges to overeat without doing anything about them— without trying to get rid of them or figure them out.
