Month: October 2023

Our minds are super powerful. In order to walk down the path towards what you want most in life, it can be helpful to have some idea of what that is. This is especially helpful when we find ourselves in liminal space and moments of transition. We’re thinking big picture here. For example, you may want a relationship that has certain qualities or elements. Focus on these—the process— rather than a relationship with a certain person—the content. In this example, consider it’s not the specific PERSON you want but rather how a relationship with them either makes you or may make you FEEL. There are a lot of different methods and practices to go about setting intentions and even for identifying what it is you want. My workshops and individual holistic wellness consulting sessions can help you identify these. There’s also a lot of information available via google. Some practices to begin to center yourself in order to tap into your inner core include eating nourishing foods, getting enough good quality sleep, moving your body, journaling, and mindful awareness.

You can set broad, overarching life intentions; yearly intentions; monthly intentions; and even daily intentions. Note that intentions are not necessarily goals. While goals are more concrete and objectively achievable, intentions are more in the realm of values. They reflect states of being, attitudes, and mindsets.

The act of concretizing your deepest inner wants through writing down an intention is powerful, and can help align your mind and your actions. When you set an intention that comes from your deep inner wisdom , you can more clearly see when your thoughts, actions, and overall direction in life are out of alignment with how you want to show up in the world and what you want out of life. Without clear intentions we can succumb to our defenses, acting out of fear of the unknown in efforts to protect ourselves, which can lead to all kinds of self sabotage. Interestingly, sometimes getting a negative result may be preferable to uncertainty, and so we subconsciously do and say things that lead to ANY result rather than hang out in that liminal uncertain place. Expanding our capacity to meet uncertainty with grace, patience, and compassion is an example of an overall intention: it describes how we want to be in the face of uncertainty. Therefore, when we get pulled into behaviors or actions that are NOT graceful, patient, or compassionate we can step back and notice with curiosity and kindness, and decide if acting in those ways is what we truly want to do. We have a choice.

There are so many practices available to help you begin to define what you want out of life and how you want to show up. Discovering these is a process unto itself. My workshops are excellent spaces for this. You might write down and adjust your intention overtime. Life after all is a process. You can also google and write down some intentions that resonate with you. You might have an overall life intention and overall intentions for different areas of your life such as career, relationship, and how you treat yourself. The effects of these ‘broad’ intentions can be far-reaching. For example, if you have an intention to pay less attention to your inner critic and treat yourself with compassion, that might reduce your tendency to emotionally overeat. Having an intention to see the good around you may help you tolerate ambiguity and moments of uncertainty when dating rather than self sabotage by demanding certainty in some form.

The task for you is to come up with at least one overarching intention and write it down in your journal. Note how it makes you feel when you read it. When I read my intentions I feel a sense of inner expansiveness, excitement, and peace— almost like en exhale.

Improv has become a kind of life philosophy for me. My background and experience in improv led me to pursue my MA in drama therapy. In holistic wellness consulting I integrate drama therapy to conceptualize improv as a powerful tool for personal growth and transformation.

Most people think of improv as a way to be funny. But roiling beneath the surface of improv are many powerful processes. Improv doesn’t even need to be funny. Psychodrama, for example, leverages elements of improv centered on more personal explorations. There are different types of improv, such as short-form game styles and long form, which can include entire improvised plays. When I think about using improv in a personal growth context, I’m less concerned about these distinctions and more interested in emphasizing certain underlying processes including embodiment, relationships, communication, play, spontaneity, inner parts of self, and divergent thinking. Further, one’s experience in improv can function as a kind of microcosm for their ways of relating to themselves and others beyond the stage: managing the inner critic, self judgment, a tendency towards control, relationship to uncertainty, self expression, empowerment, confidence, mistakes, etc. Improv directly confronts perfectionism. 

I think of improv as interpersonal mindfulness in action: it focuses on communication at all levels (verbal and non verbal); relationship (to self and other); and fully inhabiting the present moment. 

There is no script in improv. But, this does not mean improv has no structure or best practices. Spoiler: life also does not have a script.

Improv allows us to play with vulnerability. One way to use improv for personal growth is to focus on strong relationships in which characters explore, express, and grapple with how they honestly feel about one another. In our real lives we may at times hide how we really feel for various reasons, but in improv we are direct and honest. This honesty and vulnerability often leads to surprising results and deepened interpersonal connection in the scene. In fact, ‘being coy’ in improv is often unhelpful. 

Sometimes we make mistakes in improv. These are often embraced; improv has a beautiful attitude towards mistakes. But, sometimes we judge ourselves harshly for something we said or did, or didn’t say or didn’t do, and we carry that off the stage with us. This is an opportunity to practice awareness and change in how we relate to the part of ourselves that tears us down. For me, in a personal growth context, I emphasize how improv cultivates an open minded, aware,  non judgmental, and playful attitude towards what is unfolding in the present moment. This is the difference between being and thinking.