Author: Tova

I’ve been listening to some podcasts with a well-known and well-respected author who is a proponent of a ketogenic diet for weight loss. While I found numerous statements and claims questionable, what I want to focus on in this blog post is whether or not a ketogenic diet is a “magic bullet” for weight loss, especially for those who struggle with emotional eating.

I followed a ketogenic/low carb diet for decades. I believed carbs were fattening. If I could get my carbs low enough, the keto experts told me, I’d lose weight and be able to effortlessly control my eating. In fact, “overeating” was an illusion, as far as weight was concerned! Calories don’t count on keto, they said. I heard similar claims made on the podcasts I listened to recently. Like many who currently follow low carb diets, I struggled with overeating cheese, nuts, and low carb treats. My weight was 15-20 lbs higher than it is now. I no longer follow a keto or very low carb diet, although I am carb-conscious.

A ketogenic diet did not magically melt off my weight, and it did nothing to control my overeating/emotional eating/cravings. On one of the keto podcasts I recently listened to, the keto author said he recently decided to cut out nuts because he was eating ~1,000 calories of them per day and noticed a rash on his face. Going from 1,000 calories of nuts (about 5.5 oz) to no nuts exemplifies black and white thinking. Why not just…eat 1 oz of nuts? Because doing that is hard for many people. Nuts are delicious. With a lot of time and inner work, I can now limit my nut (including peanut butter!) consumption…even though I eat CARBS! Shouldn’t I be riddled with cravings and unable to control my eating? Keto does not cure emotional eating, or wanting to eat food because it is delicious.

Keto may very well truly control hunger on a biochemical/physiological level. But humans eat food for all kinds of reasons that have little to do with physical hunger. We eat when happy, sad, stressed, and celebrating with friends. We eat food because our mom made it. Food is love. Food calms our nerves. Food is comfort. Eating keto does not eliminate feelings of deprivation and restriction. It is important to note, however, that “deprivation” and “restriction” are subjective. Some people may not feel deprived or restricted on keto. But others might, especially when family members and friends eat foods forbidden on a ketogenic diet.

Sugar, refined carbs, and processed junk are not health foods. This point is underscored by most successful diet strategies, including keto. I am not suggesting all foods are created equal and can be eaten in moderation. And, if keto works for an individual and helps them lose weight while also improving markers of health and well-being, fine. But many people will struggle with keto, or any diet, because diet alone with not fully resolve emotional eating issues. Giving up sugar and junk food and refined carbs is a crucial first step. For many, this step is difficult to make both initially and long term. The best diet in the world will not work if an individual can not overcome their emotional barriers to following it consistently.

So, what can the emotional eater who wants to lose weight do? Address the physiology of weight regulation through healthy diet and lifestyle as well as the emotional realm which can thwart the best of intentions to consistently engage in those behaviors. Over time, taste preferences and eating habits change. Sugar will not always beckon with such intensity.

There are many layers to our being. There is the part of us that feels frightened, the part of us that dances with joy, and there is the part of us that observes all our changing states. One aspect of who we are, or numerous aspects, are salient at any given time.

There is the part of you that binges/abuses food, and there is the part of you that watches yourself while you are doing it. I use the word “binge” but people tend to have different ways of describing this process including emotional eating, grazing, overeating, breaking a diet, mindless eating, etc. If “binge” doesn’t resonate with you but you do resonate with struggling to control your eating in some way, use whatever word or phrase suits you.

Consider the following questions. You can write about them, ponder them, or create some kind of artistic expression around them—

What role does your binging serve in your life?

Is there a pattern to it? Does it follow certain events/emotions?

What aspect of yourself might it represent?

What is its relationship to the part of you that observes it happening?

What would it take for you to give up this behavior? Why aren’t you doing that?

What does self-care mean to you? Is it buying a fancy bath bomb and enjoying a 20 minute bath? Is it treating yourself to an expensive purchase? What if you don’t have time to spend 20 minutes in a bath? What if finances are tight? The concept of “self-care” can often be synonymous with buying something or spending a lot of time on ourselves. And those things are nice to do— it does feel good to treat ourselves to some lovely smelling lotion, or an organic bath bomb, or give ourselves the luxury of relaxing in a warm bath. But self-care encompasses so much more.

Most people find the concept of self-care difficult to embrace, for a variety of reasons. When you think about doing something kind for yourself, how does that make you feel? Guilt and selfishness are common emotions. You deserve your own care and attention. Self-care is also how you talk to yourself, how you interpret the events in your life. Do you regularly beat yourself up? Is the voice of your inner critic particularly loud? Working on self-compassion and self-kindness in terms of your interior life is a valid form of self-care. Here are some other self-care ideas you may want to incorporate:

1. Treat yourself as kindly as you would others. Be gentle with yourself. Do one nice thing for yourself.
2. Devote a few hours to yourself this week. Take a walk, prepare a healthy meal, do an activity you enjoy.
3. Go somewhere beautiful and fun. This can be the ocean, somewhere else in nature, a lake, or the mountains. During the pandemic, it’s important to practice social distancing to keep yourself and others safe. If going somewhere physically is not possible, you can spend time looking at pictures of places you would like to go online.
4. Take time to do things you need to do in your life such as shopping for healthy groceries, going to doctor and dental appointments, and keeping your space clean.
5. Do yoga or stretch. The mind body connection is fascinating.

Grounding techniques can help you disengage from overwhelming emotions and cravings. Try one of these techniques next time you feel pulled towards unhealthy eating habits like bingeing or eating junk food, especially in response to distressing emotions like anger, frustration, and anxiety.

Grounding is not about relaxation or meditation. It is about being totally focused and rooted back in the here and now of your current environment, not lost in your mind/distress/craving.

Here are some grounding techniques:

1. Rainbow 🌈 — Look around your environment and identify objects corresponding to each color of the rainbow, in order: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Purple.
2. Circles & Squares 🔵🟠🟥🟪— Identify five objects in your environment that are circles and five that are squares.
3. Read Backwards 📖— Find something to read. Starting at the end, work backwards. For example, the sentence “I am here in the room” would become “moor eht ni ereh ma I”.
4. Categories 🐶— Pick a category and list as many things you can think of that belong to it. Example categories include animals, movies, song titles, vacation destinations, and cartoon characters.
5. Describe your environment 🌠— Look around your environment and describe what you see non-judgmentally. Describe the objects, the shapes, colors, numbers of things, etc. Be as detailed as possible.
6. Repeat a here and now statement 📅— An example: “My name is Tova. I am in my room. Today is Monday December 14, 2020. I am here in the present moment of my life. This feeling will pass.”
7. Use sensation 🧊🧊— Put ice or cold water on your face or wrist, place your feet firmly on the ground, smell something like perfume.
8. Repeat comforting phrases 🎶— Recite a poem or a song you like. You can also read coping statements or affirmations. You can do this silently or outloud, if you feel comfortable doing so.

I eat cake every night. My cake, though, is totally healthy. It doesn’t lead to cravings. It does not contain any added sugar. It is a very healthy cake. I add different things to it, leave out certain ingredients, etc. You can vary it to suit your preferences, making sure the ingredients contain no added sugar. Here are the ingredients in the above pic:

1.5 oz Triple Zero Oikos

1.5 oz plain non fat Greek yogurt

Ceylon cinnamon

Pumpkin pie spice

~1/4 cup canned pumpkin

1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

2 tbsp Nana Joe’s Savory Blend granola

1 tbsp shredded unsweetened coconut flakes

2 tbsp crunchy peanut butter

Very simple and easy to make. First I mix the yogurt, pumpkin, spices, and cocoa powder. Then I top with a variety of toppings: unsweetened granola, coconut flakes, and a couple tbsp of peanut butter on the side.

Super delicious. Protein, fiber, healthy fats. None of the junk in most cakes. Enjoy!

Having a sense of your values can be helpful in a variety of situations. Values can be a compass, guiding you through the rhythms of your life experiences. They can inspire values-based actions, in which you act in accordance with what you value. You might value different things on different days. You may have certain values related to work, and different values related to your personal relationships. There are many ways to work with values.

Here is one way to get started on identifying your core values:

1. Create three separate piles: Very Important To Me; Important To Me; Not Important To Me
2. Sort the values from the list below into the three piles. No need to overthink this!
3. From the Very Important Pile, choose your top 5 values.
4. Repeat this activity as often as you like.

Next time you find yourself struggling with cravings, urges to eat, distress, or engaging in negative self-talk, try to refocus on your values. How can you redirect your attention towards what is meaningful to you?

I hope you had a healthy and safe Thanksgiving. I made this super delicious and very healthy pumpkin pie. I ate it with no added sugar chocolate coconut ice cream.

Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients:

1 15 oz can pumpkin puree (make sure not to get pumpkin pie filling. The only ingredient should be pumpkin)

1/4 cup golden monk fruit sweetener

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice

2 large eggs

1 cup unsweetened almond milk

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. I used a convection oven.
2. Add all ingredients to a large bowl and mix until well combined.
3. Either pour mixture into a 9 inch pie dish or divide evenly among 6 single serving oven-safe baking bowls as I did.
4. Bake 40-50 minutes, or until a knife inserted into the center comes out dry.
5. Allow to cool before serving.

Struggling with your weight loss? Join my free 7 Day No Added Sugar Challenge group on Facebook!

Most people struggle in their weight loss attempts. Some people successfully stick to a diet for awhile, lose weight, and then slip back into problematic eating behaviors. Our current society does not make the healthy choice easy to make. Additionally, there are many sources of stress that impact our physical and emotional health. I see unhealthy excess weight as a symptom of larger core issues— unhealthy diet, ineffective emotional coping mechanisms, poor sleep, stress, problematic social relationships, and more.

To lose weight successfully, and maintain that loss, requires a transformation. In the process of losing weight you will confront unhealthy behaviors and self-limiting beliefs. You will find ways to fill your time that do not involve food and eating. You will confront all of your excuses that in the past have led you straight to food.

The first place I recommend you start is getting clear on what diet changes you plan to make. Diet is not the only factor that impacts weight, but it does have a significant role in many people’s weight loss struggles. There are many types of diets out there, many books written on this subject. I help my clients find a diet to start with that works for them, and then I help them make tweaks to personalize it (if necessary) based on their preferences and lifestyle. I suggest choosing a diet that emphasizes real, whole unprocessed food and that eliminates refined food and added sugar. I also suggest making sure the diet is not overly restrictive, and I do not advise juice/smoothie “cleanses”.

All diets work, and none of them work. This means, if you follow any diet you are likely to lose weight. It also means, many people do lose weight breaking various diet rules. People lose weight eating carbs, eating over 1200 calories, eating dairy, eating more processed foods, etc. People don’t lose weight by continuing to binge eat or by punishing themselves in other ways with excess/unhealthy food.

So, pick a diet that you think will work for you. You don’t have to eat this way forever. Many diets have a more restrictive initial phase, and then broaden food choice as weight loss progresses. A weight loss coach might be able to help you make adjustments to better suit your personal preferences.

Now that you have your diet, identify your systems of support. Having someone to whom you are accountable is crucial. As a weight loss coach, I provide my clients with this accountability.

Next, figure out how your *non emotional* food/eating behaviors must adjust. If you used to eat out a lot and now you are going to cook, how are you going to adjust your schedule to find time for meal prep? Will you need to get up earlier to pack a lunch for work? If you choose to eat in a restaurant, how are you going to ensure you order a meal aligned with your diet? This step basically addresses the specifics of carrying out your diet plan.

Maybe the above steps are all you need to be successful. For many people, they aren’t. Many people struggle with emotional eating, and stress eating, cravings, and feeling tired, and then making the choice to give up on the diet struggle because they think it’s just too hard. Many people continue to berate themselves and their bodies. There are many nuanced ways in which people struggle against unhealthy food-related behaviors.

I think for some people, responding to negative emotions and stress with food is a learned habit. At some point you learned that when you felt stressed and then ate something, you felt better. Some people don’t learn this connection. So, when they feel stressed, they meditate or do yoga or spend some time outside and are just really gently with themselves about it. This thought occurred to me recently when I noticed that I was feeling really anxious and felt a huge wanting to eat a lot of food. This was something I used to do a lot: Feel some kind of uncomfortable emotion or discomfort –> Eat. I broke my diets over and over again, and it was incredibly frustrating and demoralizing. I realized, I must have learned this connection between feeling uncomfortable and wanting to eat, which meant that just because I felt like I wanted to eat a lot of food didn’t mean I needed to do it. I could refocus my attention on something else. I also reminded myself how terrible I’d feel if I did that, both physically (from too much food) and emotionally (from denying myself healthier and more productive ways to handle my discomfort). I am really proud of my progress with this!

You can learn to do this too.